What I'm watching

Hi all, this tumblr mainly exists as a way of tracking all the movies I've been watching and some of the initial thoughts, and general feelings, I've had about them.

5/5 - Fantastic movies; movies which need to be seen and enjoyed by everyone.

4/5 - Movies which are very good but don’t have that spark which compels you to make others watch them as well.

3/5 - Average movies; watchable and enjoyable, but nothing which elevates them higher. The baseline all movies are given before watching.

2/5 - Can be watched but really bland and forgettable.

1/5 - Minimal to no reason to watch these films. It may have some redeeming factors e.g. it’s so bad it’s good or there’s one character that’s awesome enough to make it not a total waste of time.

0/5- Total waste of time. Nothing redeemable about these films.

As with every review blog/site, this is all my own personal opinion so feel free to take everything with a grain of salt.

Also I'm Scottish so all reviews will be in UK English. Get used to theatre, colour and words ending in -ised.

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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor

 

10 Worst Films Watched in 2011 (Excluding re-watched films) 1, Extract - Meanest spirited film I’ve seen in ages with absolutely irredeemable characters. Not a laugh to be found. Worst of the worst. 2, Suburban Girl - Sooooo pretentious. The indie hipster film personified. 3, Shadowlands - Soul crushingly boring and long with no redeemable elements. 4, Twilight Eclipse/Breaking Dawn Part 1 - A bit of a cheat but they’re as bad as each other so I couldn’t chose which was worse. Not higher because I knew they’d be shit going in and because of 1 redeemable element in each you could hold on to in order to get through it. 5, Mars Attack - An ensemble cast does not a good movie make. 6, The Last Airbender - How can you fuck up something with such good source material? Shyamalan finds a way. 7, Skyline - Bad acting, bad plot, bad character and bad twist ending. 8, The Tooth Fairy - Bad but not higher on the list because it never claimed to be anything else but a cheap kids movie. 9, Superman 4: The Quest for Peace - The death of a franchise and it’s clear to see why. 10, Nine - While boring it still had some redeemable performances and songs to lower it on this list. Honorable mentions: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.

10 Worst Films Watched in 2011 (Excluding re-watched films)

1, Extract - Meanest spirited film I’ve seen in ages with absolutely irredeemable characters. Not a laugh to be found. Worst of the worst.

2, Suburban Girl - Sooooo pretentious. The indie hipster film personified.

3, Shadowlands - Soul crushingly boring and long with no redeemable elements.

4, Twilight Eclipse/Breaking Dawn Part 1 - A bit of a cheat but they’re as bad as each other so I couldn’t chose which was worse. Not higher because I knew they’d be shit going in and because of 1 redeemable element in each you could hold on to in order to get through it.

5, Mars Attack - An ensemble cast does not a good movie make.

6, The Last Airbender - How can you fuck up something with such good source material? Shyamalan finds a way.

7, Skyline - Bad acting, bad plot, bad character and bad twist ending.

8, The Tooth Fairy - Bad but not higher on the list because it never claimed to be anything else but a cheap kids movie.

9, Superman 4: The Quest for Peace - The death of a franchise and it’s clear to see why.

10, Nine - While boring it still had some redeemable performances and songs to lower it on this list.

Honorable mentions: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.

#257 The Tooth Fairy Derek ‘the tooth fairy’ Thompson (Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnston) is a minor leagues hockey player known for knocking the teeth out of other players with his powerful hits on the ice. After almost telling his girlfriend’s daughter there is no real tooth fairy he is summoned to be a tooth fairy himself for 2 weeks in penance.  Let’s not analysis too closely why I decided to watch this movie other than I was bored, didn’t want to think a whole lot about what I was watching and I generally like the Rock in most of his roles (I even liked the Game Plan for what it was). The concept is just stupid right off the bat and it never does anything interesting enough to merit changing that opinion. It never gets any better than ‘haha look at the Rock in a tutu. Isn’t that hilarious?’. No, no it is not. The reason I liked the Rock in the Game Plan or in his role in Be Cool is because he shows he’s not above making fun of the fact that he’s in these types of movie. It’s always been done with a bit of a wink at the audience and derives the humour from that. This just wants you to laugh at him spouting wings at inopportune moments. Also poor Ashley Judd being in this movie. The Rock may pull these shitty kids movies every so often but at least he comes back with a Fast Five every once and awhile. I haven’t seen her in anything good, if anything at all, since Double Jeopardy. He may get to do other stuff but this is all shes got now. In retrospect this was Gulliver’s Travels all over again but it killed an hour as background noise as I was doing other things. I can’t ask for more than that but it still doesn’t make it good, even if it’s only for kids. 0/5 Wilhelm Scream #17

#257 The Tooth Fairy

Derek ‘the tooth fairy’ Thompson (Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnston) is a minor leagues hockey player known for knocking the teeth out of other players with his powerful hits on the ice. After almost telling his girlfriend’s daughter there is no real tooth fairy he is summoned to be a tooth fairy himself for 2 weeks in penance. 

Let’s not analysis too closely why I decided to watch this movie other than I was bored, didn’t want to think a whole lot about what I was watching and I generally like the Rock in most of his roles (I even liked the Game Plan for what it was).

The concept is just stupid right off the bat and it never does anything interesting enough to merit changing that opinion. It never gets any better than ‘haha look at the Rock in a tutu. Isn’t that hilarious?’. No, no it is not. The reason I liked the Rock in the Game Plan or in his role in Be Cool is because he shows he’s not above making fun of the fact that he’s in these types of movie. It’s always been done with a bit of a wink at the audience and derives the humour from that. This just wants you to laugh at him spouting wings at inopportune moments.

Also poor Ashley Judd being in this movie. The Rock may pull these shitty kids movies every so often but at least he comes back with a Fast Five every once and awhile. I haven’t seen her in anything good, if anything at all, since Double Jeopardy. He may get to do other stuff but this is all shes got now.

In retrospect this was Gulliver’s Travels all over again but it killed an hour as background noise as I was doing other things. I can’t ask for more than that but it still doesn’t make it good, even if it’s only for kids. 0/5

Wilhelm Scream #17