What I'm watching

Hi all, this tumblr mainly exists as a way of tracking all the movies I've been watching and some of the initial thoughts, and general feelings, I've had about them.

5/5 - Fantastic movies; movies which need to be seen and enjoyed by everyone.

4/5 - Movies which are very good but don’t have that spark which compels you to make others watch them as well.

3/5 - Average movies; watchable and enjoyable, but nothing which elevates them higher. The baseline all movies are given before watching.

2/5 - Can be watched but really bland and forgettable.

1/5 - Minimal to no reason to watch these films. It may have some redeeming factors e.g. it’s so bad it’s good or there’s one character that’s awesome enough to make it not a total waste of time.

0/5- Total waste of time. Nothing redeemable about these films.

As with every review blog/site, this is all my own personal opinion so feel free to take everything with a grain of salt.

Also I'm Scottish so all reviews will be in UK English. Get used to theatre, colour and words ending in -ised.

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#407/#124 Killer Elite In the 1980’s, recently retired assassin Danny (Jason Statham) is forced back into the game when his mentor and friend Hunter (Robert De Niro) is taken hostage by a powerful Oman Sheikh (Rodney Afifi). The Sheikh wishes for Danny to kill the three SAS officers responsible for killing the Shiekh’s three sons during the Dhofar Rebellion. Seeing no other option, Danny acquiesces but quickly finds himself on the radar of a shadowy group known as the Feathermen and former SAS officer Spike Logan (Clive Owen). This film is alright if you don’t go into it looking for anything too cerebral. It has a unique setting but a really cliche driven revenge/’i keep trying to get out but they keep pulling me back in’ plot. I was entertained the entire time I was watching it and it was suitably action packed with cool fights/stunts but there’s nothing really which distinguishes it from any other B movie action flick. Statham was Statham, Owen was Owen and De Niro was barely in it (and what he was in he seemed mostly out of place). There’s nothing wrong with it but there’s also nothing which elevates it above instantly forgettable 3/5.

#407/#124 Killer Elite

In the 1980’s, recently retired assassin Danny (Jason Statham) is forced back into the game when his mentor and friend Hunter (Robert De Niro) is taken hostage by a powerful Oman Sheikh (Rodney Afifi). The Sheikh wishes for Danny to kill the three SAS officers responsible for killing the Shiekh’s three sons during the Dhofar Rebellion. Seeing no other option, Danny acquiesces but quickly finds himself on the radar of a shadowy group known as the Feathermen and former SAS officer Spike Logan (Clive Owen).

This film is alright if you don’t go into it looking for anything too cerebral. It has a unique setting but a really cliche driven revenge/’i keep trying to get out but they keep pulling me back in’ plot. I was entertained the entire time I was watching it and it was suitably action packed with cool fights/stunts but there’s nothing really which distinguishes it from any other B movie action flick. Statham was Statham, Owen was Owen and De Niro was barely in it (and what he was in he seemed mostly out of place).

There’s nothing wrong with it but there’s also nothing which elevates it above instantly forgettable 3/5.

#399/#116 The Expendables 2 When one of their own is killed, the expendables mount up to track and kill the murderer. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the original expendables film (It was actually one of my earliest reviews). It couldn’t decide if it wanted to be a send up of all the 80’s/90’s movies that made these actors famous or a more serious mercenary action flick (akin to the latest Rambo). It tried to be both and ended up a garbled, forgettable mess. Expendables 2 does not make the same mistake twice. It has dropped almost all of the attempts at serious dramatic introspection and just hits the ground running, trying to be the biggest and loudest action film it can be. It also fixed one of my other gripes about the original film by including both an over the top evil villain in the form of Van Damme, who is probably the best I’ve seen him in this and looking to be having a ton of fun, and an equally loathsome henchman. You look forward to the one-on-one fights with the heroes this time around because it feels more worthwhile. A very quick re-cap of all the major players: Sly’s fine and gets a great final fight but also has a really awkward love interest for some reason; Statham’s a little aimless but gets a cool fight scene however it’s not as good as his one on the basketball court from the first film; Li also gets a cool fight with frying pans but is only in the film for about 5 minutes; Lundgren and Crews are both a little lacking but both have their funny moments and round out the team well; Norris was totally pointless but mercifully short; Willis really looks like he’s slumming it given that he’s still producing good films; Hemsworth is surprisingly good and Arnie is just rusty as hell getting some really bad one-liners and one awesome one. It’s not a clever film, the plots almost non-existant outside of ‘kill everything that isn’t us’, it’s super cliche (but it kinda has to be) and most of the one liners are really forced/terrible but it all sort of adds to the overall charm of the thing. It’s not half-assing it this time and I really appreciated it. Expendables 2 is exactly what I wanted from the first film but did not get. The opening scene alone in the this one blows everything in the original out of the water and if that doesn’t then the Sly/Arnie/Willis slow walk-and-gun scene at the climax sure as hell does. As long as you go in with the mindset that this is going to be a big, cheesy 80’s action movie then you will absolutely have a good time. 3.5/5

#399/#116 The Expendables 2

When one of their own is killed, the expendables mount up to track and kill the murderer.

I wasn’t the biggest fan of the original expendables film (It was actually one of my earliest reviews). It couldn’t decide if it wanted to be a send up of all the 80’s/90’s movies that made these actors famous or a more serious mercenary action flick (akin to the latest Rambo). It tried to be both and ended up a garbled, forgettable mess. Expendables 2 does not make the same mistake twice. It has dropped almost all of the attempts at serious dramatic introspection and just hits the ground running, trying to be the biggest and loudest action film it can be.

It also fixed one of my other gripes about the original film by including both an over the top evil villain in the form of Van Damme, who is probably the best I’ve seen him in this and looking to be having a ton of fun, and an equally loathsome henchman. You look forward to the one-on-one fights with the heroes this time around because it feels more worthwhile.

A very quick re-cap of all the major players: Sly’s fine and gets a great final fight but also has a really awkward love interest for some reason; Statham’s a little aimless but gets a cool fight scene however it’s not as good as his one on the basketball court from the first film; Li also gets a cool fight with frying pans but is only in the film for about 5 minutes; Lundgren and Crews are both a little lacking but both have their funny moments and round out the team well; Norris was totally pointless but mercifully short; Willis really looks like he’s slumming it given that he’s still producing good films; Hemsworth is surprisingly good and Arnie is just rusty as hell getting some really bad one-liners and one awesome one.

It’s not a clever film, the plots almost non-existant outside of ‘kill everything that isn’t us’, it’s super cliche (but it kinda has to be) and most of the one liners are really forced/terrible but it all sort of adds to the overall charm of the thing. It’s not half-assing it this time and I really appreciated it. Expendables 2 is exactly what I wanted from the first film but did not get. The opening scene alone in the this one blows everything in the original out of the water and if that doesn’t then the Sly/Arnie/Willis slow walk-and-gun scene at the climax sure as hell does.

As long as you go in with the mindset that this is going to be a big, cheesy 80’s action movie then you will absolutely have a good time. 3.5/5

#380/#97 The One Multiple universes with multiple versions of the same person exist and travel between them is possible via wormholes. Gabriel YuLaw (Jet Li), former crime fighting agent of the multi-verse authority, has been systematically killing off all his other selfs and gaining a massive increase in power as a result. Now only one other Gabriel Law remains and YuLaw is set to track him down in order to either become a God or destroy all the universes. There’s not a great deal to this one, essentially being Highlander if every immortal was the same person. It’s a martial arts action film with some interesting effects (for the time) and a pretty sweet soundtrack. It’s all very silly but played so straight that it actually makes it kind of endearing to watch. You’re not going to strain any brain cells over it but If you like Jet Li kicking ass or want to see a ridiculously so bad it’s good performance from a young Jason Statham then give this one a watch. It’d be a good one for watching with a bunch of friends and laughing at, a la DOA or the alien vs predator films. 3/5

#380/#97 The One

Multiple universes with multiple versions of the same person exist and travel between them is possible via wormholes. Gabriel YuLaw (Jet Li), former crime fighting agent of the multi-verse authority, has been systematically killing off all his other selfs and gaining a massive increase in power as a result. Now only one other Gabriel Law remains and YuLaw is set to track him down in order to either become a God or destroy all the universes.

There’s not a great deal to this one, essentially being Highlander if every immortal was the same person. It’s a martial arts action film with some interesting effects (for the time) and a pretty sweet soundtrack. It’s all very silly but played so straight that it actually makes it kind of endearing to watch.

You’re not going to strain any brain cells over it but If you like Jet Li kicking ass or want to see a ridiculously so bad it’s good performance from a young Jason Statham then give this one a watch. It’d be a good one for watching with a bunch of friends and laughing at, a la DOA or the alien vs predator films. 3/5

#309/#26 The Italian Job (2003) (Rewatch) When betrayed by one of their own (Edward Norton) after ‘the Italian Job’, Charlie (Mark Wahlberg), Left Ear (Mos Def), Handsome Rob (Jason Statham), Lyle (Seth Green) and their former leader’s daughter Stella (Charlize Theron) all come up with a plan in which to get back what was stolen from them and some revenge in the process. Overall the story for this one is a little weak and most of the characters are represented by one character trait but do I care? Nope. This film is just mindless fun times at the movies. It’s got enough of a plot to keep you engaged the whole time, it sets out a goal early on then works towards it and the characters, while simple, are funny and the actors work well together/in their roles. Wahlberg is still a little Marky Mark in the role. He hasn’t quite found his mojo yet and he’s breath talking/earnestly explaining everything as is his want but it doesn’t detract from the film. Statham is just Statham, being kinda badass effortlessly and Seth Green is pretty funny, if just a little annoying. Theron and Norton do feel like they’re slumming it just a little but it only adds to the film. I get a lot of flack from a friend of mine for disliking all the films he loves. He’s fine with almost any movie as long as there are explosions, hot women and action in it. I tend to need a plot and some character development. To him I’d point to this type of film and say this is all I want. It doesn’t always have to be high drama but it’s got to have a point to it otherwise it’s just special effects and tits. The Italian Job hits just that right balance to make it a film worth rewatching. 4/5

#309/#26 The Italian Job (2003)

(Rewatch)

When betrayed by one of their own (Edward Norton) after ‘the Italian Job’, Charlie (Mark Wahlberg), Left Ear (Mos Def), Handsome Rob (Jason Statham), Lyle (Seth Green) and their former leader’s daughter Stella (Charlize Theron) all come up with a plan in which to get back what was stolen from them and some revenge in the process.

Overall the story for this one is a little weak and most of the characters are represented by one character trait but do I care? Nope. This film is just mindless fun times at the movies. It’s got enough of a plot to keep you engaged the whole time, it sets out a goal early on then works towards it and the characters, while simple, are funny and the actors work well together/in their roles.

Wahlberg is still a little Marky Mark in the role. He hasn’t quite found his mojo yet and he’s breath talking/earnestly explaining everything as is his want but it doesn’t detract from the film. Statham is just Statham, being kinda badass effortlessly and Seth Green is pretty funny, if just a little annoying. Theron and Norton do feel like they’re slumming it just a little but it only adds to the film.

I get a lot of flack from a friend of mine for disliking all the films he loves. He’s fine with almost any movie as long as there are explosions, hot women and action in it. I tend to need a plot and some character development. To him I’d point to this type of film and say this is all I want. It doesn’t always have to be high drama but it’s got to have a point to it otherwise it’s just special effects and tits. The Italian Job hits just that right balance to make it a film worth rewatching. 4/5